Best Self Help

• What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?
  What is the best time to wean the baby from nursing?<br><br>When you see teeth marks.
• Husband and Wife on 10th anniversary. The wife undresses and says: "What did you ...
  Husband and Wife on 10th anniversary. The wife undresses and says: "What did you think when I stripped 10 years ago?"<br><br>He says: "I wanted to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry".<br><br>She says: "What are you thinking now?"<br><br>"Looks like I did a pretty good job!"
• Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
  Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?<br><br>Because they are tired of using their own.
• A girl is driving along the expressway listening to the radio when she hears a ...
  A girl is driving along the expressway listening to the radio when she hears a song she really, really likes. When the song is over the announcer says the title of the record was, "Hot Lips and Tender Kisses."<br><br>When she gets home she's very excited about the new song and decides to call her local music store to see if they have the record. Hurriedly, and excitedly, she dials the store's number. But in her excitement, she unknowingly misdialed and got an auto repair shop instead.<br><br>"Hello," the mechanic answers.<br><br>"Oh, yes! Do you have Hot Lips and Tender Kisses?" the girl asks.<br><br>The mechanic was puzzled, but says, "Well, no, but I've got hot pants and seven inches."<br><br>"Oh, is that a record?" she says.<br><br>"No," he says, "but it's better than average."
• What's a perfect breakfast for a woman?
  What's a perfect breakfast for a woman?<br><br>She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.<br>Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.<br>Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.<br>Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.<br>And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
• My mother-in-law asked me: "If you hate me so much, why is my photo on the ...
  My mother-in-law asked me: "If you hate me so much, why is my photo on the chimney?"<br><br>I told her, "So as to keep the kids away from the fire."
• Teacher: "What do we call the outer part of a tree?
  Teacher: "What do we call the outer part of a tree?"<br><br>Pupil: "Don't know Miss!"<br><br>Teacher: "Bark, silly, bark!"<br><br>Pupil: "Woof, woof!"

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